I'll buy it if you make me laugh

Jaxon is one funny kid. All day he's been saying no more beans but we are just about home for the day and we stop on the side of the road to look at a man's paintings. We spend quite a few minutes looking and I ask Jaxon which one he likes.

He replies, you know you need an artistic eye to enjoy these.

I laughed and decided to get out of the car to see if I had the artistic eye. After looking around some more, Jaxon calls me over, this time he said,

This one speaks to me.

Me: What is it saying?

Jaxon: Walk my streets, climb my mountains but don't eat my fruit.

I thought that was so funny that I said to the man we'll take this one because it speaks to my brother. I told him what it said to him and we all laughed. I think the painter laughed more because he was happy we were spending $10 to buy one of his paintings. Hey he could be famous one day?

Does it speak to anyone else?

How to Avoid Trouble

I have decided to share a bit of knowledge. I am pretty boring when it comes to doing thing that can get you into trouble. Here is what I have learned from my first experience with California's finest...CHP.

1. Stay out of scary areas late at night, in case you need to stop.

2. Don't drink before or after you get in the car.

3. Open the door to talk, it is more personable.

So this is the story, I was working late...well some would say early, but I was leaving work about 5:30 am the other day. At 3 I thought I was tired but by 5:30 it was official. I drove onto my favorite freeway of all time (280) and was reminded of Kramer when he adopted a section of the freeway and painted the lines so the lanes were wider. As I merged onto the freeway I saw no one but one car way behind me and I thought it would be cool to drive all over like I owned the road. I did not do this however. I maybe went a mile on the freeway when the 4th of July took off behind me. I noticed that the fireworks were only red and blue and after a little bit of a chase (maybe 75 feet) I pulled over. It wasn't hard to pull over since I was in the far right lane to begin.

I was confused why I was being pulled over, I guess that is what they all say when they get caught. A kind man in some sort of uniform comes up to my car and I opened the door, oh wait, my seat belt is connected to the door so I shut it, took my harness off and then opened the door only to be asked if I was okay. I thought what kind man to worry about my welfare out on the streets. Then came the suspicious "Have you been drinking tonight" question. I had not, and my new caring friend wanted to see a picture of me and I only had my license so I gave it to him and he said he'd be back.

I was not clear on why he asked me if I had any warrants or if I was on probation before he went back to his car but I laughed at him and denied all of it. He came back and said have a good night and to drive safely. Now, what a kind man I thought, I look forward to meeting up with him again some day. I am happy to know people are looking out for me.

There was one question he asked that I did not have an answer to when he asked it. He asked if I had been distracted reaching for something. I didn't think I was but then I realized I had put hand gel on as I gained speed up the on ramp. I had been practicing my hands-free driving by using my knee and realized maybe that is why he thought I was drunk. I may have gone into the other lane a bit but he made it sound like I was driving in the shoulder. Not true and for the record I don't drink and drive, I'd hate to spill on my blue cloud of comfort which is what you will find inside Bonnie. To my friends, stay out of trouble, hope my pointers help and don't try to drive without your hands properly placed on the steering wheel.

I tried to look for a hot girl to show some people that are worried about my dating habits. They wanted an example of a movie star I thought was pretty. I couldn't think of one. The reason this happened could have something with the fact that where I live these are the kinds of girls we see on tv.

FAT CAMP Do I really have to go into this. Even the two exmodels aren't cute. We'll see in 100 pounds but usually fat doesn't bother me since she either knows where to eat or how to cook. That translates into she'll feed my well when I'm looking for prospects.

SURVIVOR- Trying to look for love after someone hasn't had a bath for a few weeks isn't really my style. I like clean girls.

LITTLE PEOPLE- I'd probably lose her in a crowd and not know which one she was as I towered over everyone.

DIRTY JOBS- When he goes gooey duck hunting, there aren't any pretty ones.

AMERICAN IDOL-Ok so the bikini girl was hot. I'm glad Simon pointed it out so I looked up from my computer in time. Then I looked again and she's off the list. The tv must make her look better than still photos.

Besides her, this is what my list would look like.

Natalie from Monk. Maybe I just love her since this is my favorite show. She's funny and seems like she's not to wild and crazy especially for living in San Francisco. Actually the truth is I want to be like Monk, that's how I see myself so a tough lovin gal like her is what I need.

I meant to post this a long time ago and just realized I still had a few treats in the bag to post today.

Why I love being an Uncle

From the California part of the world here are a few reasons I love being an uncle.

#1. I have the best niece ever.

By far she's my favorite niece and I wonder if I'll ever get one that compares.

#2. She says my name.

Basically if she asks I give so I love it when she asks me for things and wants to play.

#3. I get to babysit her.

Wild park party or sleepover, depends on the day.

And other things too, but I want to focus on #3. I thought money was important when doing a job but this week Hayley has paid me in Joe-Joe's Cookies from Trader Joe's and Ice Cream. I think she's fattening me up for the harvest but she claims I'm not going anywhere.


When I got the Joe-Joe's which are like peppermint oreo's in case you didn't know, I really wanted some vanilla ice cream to crush them up in and make an exquisite flavor of cold creamy lover's paradise. But I just didn't go get it done. This was on Tuesday I believe. We have all been eating the goods but then tonight I came home and Hayley said she bought ice cream. She apologized for buying low-fat stuff because I usually tell her I want all the glory of ice cream when available. So I take the four remaining Joe's and crush them up into this cookies and cream to make a mixture of WOW! So as Avy sleeps and I pretend to babysit the little angel, I ate some amazing ice cream.

Go ahead give it a try. No not babysitting, you have to train for that. Try making some delicious ice cream at the expense of a loved one. Thanks for the high paying jobs sister.

I should also throw in that the only reason she bought the cookies in the first place was because they were only $1. I'm glad I'm so valuable.

Everyone's happy when carpets are clean

Currently I am pressed up in the corner of the living room. About 12 am Tyler started cleaning the carpets with his Kirby vacuum that doubles as a shampooing wonder. I am waiting for him to go to bed so I can walk on it without him seeing. Bad news is, he used this contraption the other night when Avy threw up in her room. Hayley took her into the bathroom to clean her up, I was in the living room throwing away a diaper and when I look down the hall I have Mr. Atwood cleaning his carpets.

Once again it was late at night but this time he was topless. I was a little shocked and tried to walk by without causing a scene of having a top half naked person foaming the carpets. And so the story goes, tonight I am in the corner, just content that today he cleaned the carpets and they look great and of course he looked fine as he did it with all his clothes on. I should also add that the reason his shirt was off is owed to Avy since she puked all over him and the carpet. He's a saint, a good egg and a wonderful brother according to the law.

It is fun to pick on him a lot but the good news is he only pays attention to a small portion to it. Hayley taught me a new trick and if I don't say the words Chess, Money or Worms, he isn't usually tuned into our conservations. So Ty, here's your shout out for being so funny even if you don't get why we laugh.

Happy New Year

Alright alright, I'll let you in on what I've been up to these days. To start I am sorry I haven't been writing here. This is the story of why I haven't been posting.

A few posts down there is a post about how great my job is. Well it just so happens that during the week I posted that, actually 2 days before I posted that I quit my job. So since October 31st I haven't worked with people's money. However, at the first of October I started a new job and it didn't take long to realize that working 65 or more hours a week plus 15 hours commute time plus school wasn't going to work out.

This is where the problem started. I quit my job at the credit union but didn't tell anyone. I didn't want my family to know because I had already bought a ticket home for Christmas and I wanted it to be a surprise. For 2 months I lived this little lie and I did a fine job. However my big sister couldn't keep her lips as tightly sealed and I soon got the news that dad had been let in the circle of trust. That meant that each day I'd get a text or call from him saying how excited he was and all that father stuff. I had planned to go home on the 13th but the week before I got various requests for work that I couldn't turn down and deep down I didn't know what I was going to do in Idaho freezing off my hyena for almost 3 weeks while the kids were in school and the parents were at work. Ya I know I could have played with Sally and boys but I didn't think of that until I cancelled my ticket home in order to stay here and work more.

Hirama came out the week before I left and it was not easy to pretend like I had to go to work each day but I managed to keep her off my trail. She left on Saturday DEC 20th with the Atwoods. I left on the 22nd and called up the shuttle to take me to San Jose Airport. I was sitting at the gate a little early when they made an offer to anyone who was flexible with travel plans. I let it sink in for a few moments and then approached the woman and took her for all she was worth. I was soon in a luxury sedan on my way home. The same guy picked me up to go back at 4 pm. I checked in, went to the gate, made them aware that if there wasn't room I'd be happy to stay and went off to eat my airport cafe dinner that Delta paid for. Better believe I spent all $14 of those meal vouchers. Turns out I didn't get on this flight either and walked out to another shuttle ride home (all free of course) another $400 travel voucher, a ticket to fly the next day and more meal vouchers, and a free shuttle ride to San Fran since I'd be flying out of there instead.

Next day as much as I wanted they were not overbooked so I handed my coat to the kind lady and kicked my feet up in first class, compliments of Delta. She kept calling me Mr. Bird and kept bringing drinks. No wonder first class has their own bathroom, they give you all the liquids possible. Besides that it wasn't too exciting because when it was my time to go to the silver throne, I couldn't get the door open. After half of first class that was acting unfirstclass enough to look at me laughed at me dropping my shoulder into the bathroom door with out any luck, I sat back down and politely asked the stewardess when she came by.

I got into Salt Lake about 8:30 pm. The shuttle to Idaho was to leave at 9. I waited and waited, around 9 an airport worker told us our bus was down the road so we made the trek to the bus. Now this was the worst bus ride ever. Started off with a "code red" before we were even moving. Once we did start moving around 9:30, we were going the wrong direction only to return to the airport at 10. We finally left the airport and it appeared the bus driver had on a bigger coat than I did because the heat was not on. I couldn't sleep and froze the whole way home.

My friend picked me up about 2 am and we did what all people do in Idaho, we went to Walmart. Of course we ate Burger King first. We were living the high life in Idaho Falls before we went back to Shelley. Now it's 3:30 am, I get out of his car, dress up as Santa which was all I had in my carry on, rang the doorbell twice, then remembered Hayley told me she'd leave the door unlocked.

I'll never understand why kids are scared of SANTA. How do you resist this guy at your party?

Yes it was unlocked but I had already gotten Hirama out of bed. As Santa turned the corner she saw him and screamed a scream that was loud enough to raise the dead but yet, not wake up my father in the next room. She quickly slammed the bedroom door and I chased after. She screamed some more and one by one the shock of having Santa as well as your brother/son home was shared. However, by this time, little yappy told my other older sister so there was no shock factor there that I came home. We stayed up for the next hour or two talking and then went to bed. I had to tell them all about what had been going on and this is why I haven't posted. Because I've been doing things I normally wouldn't do if I was working 9-6 and I didn't want my family to know about it. Now I can get back to posting and sharing my fun and exciting life with others. I know that's just what you'd like.

Hope you had a Merry Christmas and all the best in the new year.

Prospect Found

Lately I've been feeling helpful. I feel like since I never spend money I should now do my part to boost the economy. With that said, I got new tires on Bonnie. She should be good for another 80,000 miles which should last me at least until I'm 30. YES I plan to have Bonnie at that time unless of course by then I have too many kids to fit in her spacious interior. That would mean in the next 7 years I'd have to find a wife and have 4 kids to fill her up. However there is bad news with this, it took about an hour longer than they told me and when I went to pay..

The girl has a button up polo shirt. It was unbuttoned and there was nothing to be seen other than her exceedingly large amounts of chest hair. Yes that is correct, along with my tires, I got valuable knowledge which is to never go to Tire Centers to find future girlfriends. Either way, I got a deal on some new tires. I'm sorry if this is a common problem among women but I wasn't aware. Now I know. Makes me one smart and lucky life-learning student.

Imagine a little of both.

I am my own person

Here I go taking a stand for something. Some of you may believe I am Hayley's puppet. No matter how much I want to do a puppet show for little niece and friends, I myself am not a puppet. (Anyone have puppet's they can share for a short program one weekend?)

She graduated from the cellar, so did I.

She moved to California, so did I.

She was a DeAnza Don, so am I.

She moved in with Tyler, so did I.

She uses Gmail, so do I.

She started a blog, so did I.

She started a Facebook, and this is where I draw the line.

Even though Hayley would have to be in my top 5 of siblings, I just can't do this one. I'm aware my two oldest sisters have a profile and more friends and counting than I do. This could ruin a family tradition that 1/4 of the family does. I know Hirama (name changed to protect the innocent) won't be starting a Facebook or a Blog. I don't want to put that added pressure on her if I were to add one. You know like the pressure of...well look at that, the two oldest children are married, I wonder who is next in line. That's the sort of stuff I'm trying to save Hirama from all the hootie hoo.

With that I am taking a stand to not avoid contact from people I know, but to be free on this here blog. I just never know what to write about. I want things to be interesting but how interesting can my life be?

Do you find it interesting that I just ate some delicious Minestrone soup and I couldn't hit my mouth for anything, soup kept dripping down my chin, no matter how hard I tried, the juice was on the loose.

Oh here's lame one, the house guests are on the road for vacation so I'm here. Now it's 9:22pm and I just spoke for the first time since awaking. My boss called me and so I had to break the silence. What is even more amazing is I haven't left the house, well, I did cross the street to bring Bonnie closer to the house, but I didn't see anyone out there.

Oh and Hayley, since my name will be at the top of your list until someone else takes the top spot, I just want you to know that this is dedicated to you and has been written as a Christmas gift. Merry Christmas! Other siblings, be on the watchout, I may find a gift for you too around here. Except for those that don't allow me to post their true identity.

What's up doc

So he's not really a doc, but his name is Pete. Now before I talk him up I better get Bonnie back and test her out. It is true my friends, Bonnie tried to die on me this week. Aside from me being cheap, I really do love Bonnie and it rips me apart to have spent the last few days so close yet so far away from her. This Pete guy looks like the truck driver on the classic "ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING". He's a good man and hopefully a great mechanic as I have entrusted him to put in a new transmission in my 119,000 jewel.

You won't be seeing my car which p.s. has much nicer rims, up for sale at Lucky Auto, Reason #1 is this is out of state, and as of today I couldn't take her that far. #2, they want $2200 for this hottie, when I looked up the value of mine the other day at work I was getting quotes of $50. It was a slow day so everyone at the bank found this quite funny. Good news is on the highest possible price I could have got $880! Unlike, my dad, my brother-in-law, and even my own mother...she's worth more alive than dead. Good news is, my dear sister hasn't had to take me all over town to do my daily functions. #1. I don't have many places to go, school and work. #2. I have entered the world of rental cars. Did you know you can get the cheapest car possible for less than $14 a day when used on Friday, Saturday or Sunday? A steal! I've been cruising around town more than usual since I've had my little Dodge Caliber. I guess last time Tyler's brother came out they rented one and they suggested the mice under the hood couldn't make it go fast enough. I would have to agree with them. Bonnie could beat this car in every aspect of a race any day. It is new but gutless. It makes me miss what I used to have.

Good news is Pete's feat will be accomplished on Monday and the duo of Austin and Bonnie will be so happy together. Now I realize I haven't written in this open space for a while and even though much has changes and happened, I don't really want to talk about it. I just have one more thing to say and that is that I pretty much love life. I love everything that happens to me and I really just laugh all day long. I am a happy person and mostly it comes from playing with little AVY, but Hayley and Tyler aren't so bad. I have even tried to get kicked out (multiple times) since I last wrote but when the plans come up for having 17 kids, they hope I'll still be there to which I respond, "Will we still be in a duplex?" Oh the joys that would be had if that were the case.

Only in Idaho

Famous UNCLE SAM following the police chief to start the parade.

I have been waiting to tell everyone in the world about my time at the annual SHELLEY IDAHO SPUD DAY, but it has just been crazy. I go off and play only to find things are still needing to be completed when I get back. Basically since I've returned from my wonderful bonding time with PAPI Bird in Honduras, I've cut myself off from everything that wasn't school or work. I'm just trying to keep my head above water. Oh and by the way, for the last month or so I've picked up a new job to fill in where I had extra time.

Back to Spud Day:

YES the city fountain is dyed blue to many residents disgust. They commented on it to me since I had never seen it before.

• Only in IDAHO can you go to a parade and see the entire town on main street
  
  
• Only in IDAHO you can watch the first 3 floats (fire engines) go by with sun light, the next 11 in rain, then next 14 floats in cloudy but dry skys and then hail. Good news is, each float was giving lots of candy to the two out of towners. Since my friend Anthony and I were out of staters we got special treats like Idaho Spud bars which he liked, bags of potato chips, and of course, free taters for out of staters! Bad news is, the fancy roads in Shelley have a few places where puddles gather and it seemed that the candy throwers from the floats could only land the candy in the puddles. Soggy tootsie rolls anyone?

• Only in IDAHO can my friend get sick of me stopping and talking to every other person. I had 13 hours on the ride home to try to convince him I'm not a celebrity, just from a small town.


• Only in IDAHO can you stop at a roadside potato cellar and ask the farmer if you can take some pictures since your friend has never seen so many spuds. (he got really excited when the Shelley High School MR. Russett mascot strolled by in the parade.)

• 
• Only in IDAHO can you stand in line for a prime-rib sandwich in front of the honorable Mayor Swede Christensen and not even know it. I had to give Anthony a lesson on who was standing behind him. Anthony wanted to take a picture. I declined being paparatzi.
  
  Funnel Cakes are about 70% the reason I went. Cannon's blessing was about 85% and the fact that I mentioned Idaho 3 months before and Anthony would let me forget we were going to Idaho was about 40% You do the MATH.
  
• Only in IDAHO do I have such a wonderful place to call home. Even though I was on the broken chair all night, I slept like a saint. I got to see my cute little nephews and my cute little brother in law, and of course the regulars of the Bird house.
  
  
• Only in IDAHO can you go to the store to buy treats for co-workers and get them IDAHO SPUD bars. I still claim they are nasty but everyone seemed to like them.


• Only for SPUD DAY would I drive 27 hours only to spend 26 hours in IDAHO.
  

My job is great

Sorry it's been a while. Life has been crazy. Speaking of crazy... I just had a guy come into the credit union named Red Crazyhorse. So I assume he's of native american decent. That reminds me that on Monday we were closed for Columbus day but we had an all-staff training day instead. I wondered if Stanford employees were off so I asked the first lady that came to my window if she was off yesterday (MONDAY). Just so happens I used the word Columbus day and she replied, I don't celebrate that I'm NATIVE AMERICAN. Who knew? I never made the connection that tribes wouldn't like Columbus. Needless to say, she didn't smoke the peace pipe in his honor that night.

Check this out

Today I am in Mexico writing from the airport. For more information, please see givemegetaways.blogspot.com.

Pictures to come later

Love is tasty!

I've done some things in my life that have seemed to be full of love. Truth is my idea of love changed a lot in the last few days. I'm not going to go into details because they are a little too colorful for posting; like as bright as a rainbow. (Wink Wink Hay)
Then there was today, my last day to fulfill my dream of dogs in the workplace. Of course I didn't do it but as I put that think plastic bag on my hand thinking that somehow that makes picking up after a dog better we bonded and I wish I would have done it.
Even though I didn't eat breakfast because I am just glued to watching AVY in her early morning playtime, it was OK. I was waiting for my wonderful lunch from THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY. I had eaten there before but of course I wasn't about to pay $7 for a slice of cheesecake. However today the company paid for a whole pie which is the way to go since it fed 8 and only cost $25. I fell in love at the first bite and only ate one piece but am pretty sure I could have found a home for all of it.
I think what made lunch so great is that I went to pick it up. It all started on the train once again. I quickly found my train riding friend Anthony and sat by him. The girl sitting next to me kept looking over but we were sort of close so I really didn't want to look at her since it was a little too close for my comfort. Well when we got off the train Anthony is like that girl was checking you out. I'm glad to see that in my old age I still have what it takes. Hayley and Hirama would say it was because it was casual Friday so I had my jeans on, but today I didn't even tuck in my shirt or wear dress shoes, I was going very casual and this hottie responded, lucky for me, I take the train every day, could this be love? It sure started my day off making me feel like I still had the love and feeling.
So work was so slow today. It was so slow that when it was time to pick up the lunch Anthony took me with him. We took the keys to a co-worker's car and headed to the lot. As Anthony started the car I asked him if it ever made him nervous driving other people's cars. Especially since this car was new and this lady could be one that is capable of killing over a dent in her car. Right as I asked that he backed up into the curb. No it just hit the tires but it sure scared him pretty good. Let the fun begin.
We are driving around Palo Alto and we make it to The Heaven of all Cheesecakes. We go up and quickly get pointed to "THE TAKE OUT COUNTER." We told them who we were and what we wanted and they said it wasn't ready. Now this fired me up some since they had told us 20 minutes and it had been at least that long. We waited another 20 minutes for the food and of course CASUAL FRIDAY style was still singing love songs. The girl boxing up our cake was the victim of my interrogation. I said it looked good and asked her if she made it. She responded she did and I said, "Did you make this one special for me?" She smiled and I was just breaking the ice. Then the next girl comes out and I guess she was on another page because when I asked her if she was a master cake maker like her friend she responded, "Oh we don't make them here, they are made in a cheesecake factory in Los Angeles."
The girl left and must have knew that I caught on to her fake job. I was feeling pretty good that she wanted to impress me, too bad she wasn't the one for me, or any other man with a forklift to get her in and out of the car. Now this all could be wrong and I'm just being a weirdo, but if I am, I got a slice of heaven and a Tons of FUN burger for my troubles. It was a great day, too bad the dog missed out on it. At least BRANCH BABY was there to see my joy.

Monday lover's fun

Here's a quick break down on why I love Mondays... be prepared for reading sorry, I have to get caught up.


#1, Train is late, I have to avoid eye contact with other train riders for extended periods of time. If train is late, bus is gone, more time spend at bus stop trying not to look up. In the class system, we have trains at the bottom but they are still above buses. Trust me I've been on both.

#2, Late means getting to work late, not that it matters since I usually sit around from 9:30 to 10 with nothing to do other than check my stocks and see how they are doing, but today I had enough time to check them with much eagerness after the weekend only to find them "gone with the wind" of Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae failures.

#3, After a very slow and boring 2 hours in banking, I'm helping a guy when the server behind me makes this funny noise. I look at him with the look of fear that only I can convey. I say to him it sounds like a bomb and he gives me the "give me my money and I'm out of here" look. But before he can leave...the office becomes dark. Let the back up battery pack's beeping begin. The power is out, the world is coming to an end. In a bank you can't work if there is no power so we kicked everyone out and sat. WE sat and sat and sat. Word on the street from the guy who would know comes and tells us that all of campus is out and it looks like the power won't be back on for a while. It's a big problem and later we learned that some of the city was out as well. Lucky for me, I went into the confines of the 10x10 conference room and shut the door to avoid the harsh beeping of every single computer in the office. Sure I had visitors, but after the first hour they died down a little. I ate Pringles, I guess that food storage idea of mine was great, but then they ran out.

#4, So if being stuck in the office without power isn't bad enough, the Branch Baby (a 5 month old baby boy who comes to work with his mom because we fully support babies and may I add dogs in the workplace, I know can we get any crazier?) Now mingling with my beeps are peeps. We carried on with Branch Baby for another hour or so listening to everyone ooh and ahh at him as he gave no love or affection back. Just when I had once again secluded myself into the office to nap, the computer nerds who are actually really cool came and turned off the beeping at least. A little while later the power was back on and we had to wait another 20 minutes or so to be back in business. But that's still just the start of the day.

#5, The work day was painfully slow. Even though I had time to relax it just made it drag on. I got a few angry folks from the orient and they always know how to fire me up with their questions. Later on in the day my supervisor was sitting behind me on the floor cooing with the baby. That was too much. Lucky for me, I had time to ponder life as the power was out and I came up with this great idea, see #6 for more information.


#6, Babies in the workplace is a HR policy but at the same time they adopted dogs in the workplace. Incredibly ridiculous I know but the light came on in my head as I made the connection that I am dogsitting. I have a dog to bring to the workplace. I was all excited about it until the man on the train said I'd have to say it was a service animal and I really don't want fur in my golden year Pontiac. I was going to bring it one day but I just realized it is too much work to make a point.

#7, Finally the day is over, I get to the train station and I meet a crazy man who is complaining that the train is late and in Seattle you can see where every type of public transportation is at any given moment. He continued to walk by me and try to strike up conservation but the train station is not where I want to make friends.

#8, The train is coming, I want to get in the first car so I start walking towards where I think the door will stop and open. The two co-workers/friends that I'm waiting with start to make fun of me because I am considered by others to be a master train hippie. They ask me where I'm going and I say to the front. It went something like this after that.
Brandon, "You going to ride in the Engine"?
Austin, "Nope, just getting in position".
Anthony, "I'm sure you can sit on the conductor's lap and help him drive it".
Austin, "No I don't want to control it".
Random guy standing by, "That's what she said".
Austin, "What did that guy say? What did you say"?
Random guy smiling and showing off his black tooth, "That's what she said".
Brandon, "What'd that guy say"?
Austin, "That's what she said and that's my line"!

Here are the three train amigos:





#9, Getting on the train, I like to sit on the second story, but I knew there weren't three seats together for us to sit in so I take a seat and tell my amigos that always complain about sitting up top they'll have to fend for themselves. I take a seat and Brandon sees one behind me. He runs for it. Anthony is stopped by the first seat that was open the whole time and he turns around to sit down and a man hustles his way into the seat in the process hitting his head hard on the lights that are a little low. So Anthony had to go sit by himself and I just died replaying the clip of the guy nailing his forehead just to get the seat before Anthony did. It's a vicious cycle!

#10, I get home, walk the dog, clean up his 2 foot long sausage link poo and eat a great dinner provided by Mrs. Atwood. I fall asleep about 8:30 and slept amazingly well after a hard day of work.

Where have all the cookies gone?

Sometimes I just have so much exciting stuff to share that I would rather just tell it to Hayley. That has been the case as of late, too much stuff is going on so I just blurt it out before I can write it down. Hayley has been out of town for a week and we talk on the ringer every other day or so, usually just because she can't get find Tyler and wants to check in. Well I really don't have anything too exciting for you tonight sista, other than.....

Bonnie is a fine tuned machine. We took a trip to San Diego this weekend to see uncle and aunt and cousins and I kept having to slow her down. This baby left home at 9:30 pm, made a quick stop to Jack in the Box because I'm in love with it and we drove off into the distance, just the two of us. We ended in a little place I like to call the Chevron station in Lost Hills California. I didn't experience the night life there but I was there around midnight, gave Bonnie some petrol and took a nice 4hour nap. The best part about Bonnie is she was getting 25 MPG! I was amazed and proud of her for kicking it in gear. Also she is now my 115,000 mile gem, we put a good 900 miles on this weekend! Can't wait for SPUD DAY!
I woke up at 4:15 am and continued on the trek arriving at my final destination in Escondido CA earlier than expected but I said I'd be there between 8 and 8:30 so I had to wait and knocked on the door right about 8 so they didn't think I was some sort of liar for getting there early. So I ate a bowl of special K and that did the trick, I was loving life all day Saturday. I wish I could have posted some pictures but well I left my camera in the car and didn't take one picture.
Around 10 we headed down to the park area where my 6 year old cousin (names with held to protect the innocent and mainly because Hirama doesn't like the idea of me blogging names) (and yes, Hirama is a code name for someone in my family) Anyways so this cute little cousin of mine, who is just the sweetest thing ever had a birthday party. It was a dog themed party so there were dog pictures, dog pinatas, dog spots to be found, dog tricks to be performed, dog poopies to pick up, it was really quite amazing to see my aunt in party mode. It wasn't an over the top expensive high roller party, but it was very fun and entertaining, even if I wasn't allowed to jump through the hula hoops like a dog or pick up Little Debbie's Swiss Rolls with a pooper scooper. I did however get to hold the line back when the pinata came out to play. Of course it was in the shape of a bone. And with my boy cousin who is 10 I was able to play tug-a-war with the dog toy which I won and am very proud of since I mean he is a 10 year old. 5th grader, pretty strong and ferocious if you ask me!
After a few hours of park party fun we went back up to the homestead and they wanted me to take a nap but there was no time and I knew if I went to sleep it wouldn't be a short little nap so I kept busy for a few minutes until we went to the community pool and met up with aunts and cousins on the other side....the dark side. No just playing they were very nice people and I just chatted with my uncle and threw things in the pool for my cousins to fetch (I was still in dog party mode). It was a really fun time and I hate swimming but managed to still get wet when my cute little cousin shot me with some water cannon from about 25 feet. We ate pizza and passed a good while at the pool.
Then it was back to the house where I helped open all the little toys she got for her birthday. They wrap those little toys with all sorts of tape and glue and rubber bands that don't want to break so it was a challenge to get them all off but it was accomplished. Then we just played random games and Auntie and Uncle headed upstairs for naps and showers after being in the pool. They once again suggested a nap but I was having too much fun with my 10 year old and 6 year old cousins. They were great entertainment. Soon one of them wanted to watch TV and I lasted about 10 minutes on the couch before I was out. I'm not sure how long I was asleep but I woke up quick enough to still play some more before the parents came down.
One thing that I did that never happens is went to bed at about 9:30. It was great! I slept very well and was very grateful I was able to spend a wonderful day with my not visited enough family.

Get your motors revvvvved up!

The 90, Bonnie, my 114,007 (and counting) mile jewel, call her what you want but my blessed 1990 Pontiac Bonneville SE is getting geared up for a road trip. Over the course of the last week I have somehow convinced my friend that Spud Day (http://www.ci.shelley.id.us/index.asp?Type=B_BASIC&SEC={DEA6ABE7-C756-4E7A-A2E6-D36D82104191}&DE={6A08157A-D374-4EF4-BBA5-A5CBE5CBB46D}) in Shelley Idaho is the greatest thing in the world. I think it was the pit of mashed potatoes that did the trick. (see above link) As we drove home from work today, right after we avoided our near death experience with the squirrel I was shocked to hear that he is committed to jumping in Bonnie and making the trek to the annual day of fun. I have never seen anyone so excited to go to Idaho but he has it all planned out. We are going to leave work and maybe even get out early, and drive until we reach heaven as we know it. He is completely cool with going there one day and coming back the next. His excitement was so large that he let me know as soon as he got home that his wife gave him the go ahead. Lucky for you my faithful blog readers, Bonnie fits 6, so if you are up for being on our tug-a-war team over a pit of mashed potatoes we'll be leaving Friday the 19th of September in the year of our Lord 2008 around 6 pm but maybe sooner. Oh yeah the best part is I'll be there to celebrate my little sista's 16th birthday. Have you eaten your Russet today?

Squirrel meat

Have you ever seen a flying squirrel? Me neither but today I was riding with my friend when some random song was playing and I was listening to him tell me how hungry he was because he didn't eat lunch. We were just enjoying the life of being done with work for the day. I had already told him I would have shared my foot long of goodness with him but he said his double gulp would do the trick. So when I tried to repeat the fact that he shouldn't be hungry because he had his double gullluuup a squirrel ran out in front of his car and it scared, shocked and looked at me with that look of the squirrel on OVER THE HEDGE. He screamed as well and then we just sat there and laughed at the time we almost lost our lives to the little ranger. On the way back we looked for the little guy but to no avail. He might not have died on the road but he must have certainly ran off and died in the weeds because we were scared to death. This will most definitely be the image any time I close my eyes for the next few days or weeks!

Another banking story

I guess the last banking story lost half my audience. I'll keep this one simple which is not what my blog is all about. Here's some advice for you, when at the bank, have your stuff ready so you don't waste time. Story goes like this and yes, it's true.

Today I am trying to provide excellent customer service when this lady comes in with her head phones, sweating and of course she comes to me. I do the usual and i ask her for her number, she doesn't know it so she pulls her id out...of her candy dish holder to give to me in the process she must have seen the disgust in my eyes because after she pulled it from no man's land, she said oh you can just look, I'm sure you don't want to touch that. It is true, I didn't not want to provide that great of service. She did wipe off the sweat from the id before she let me look so that was nice of her! I didn't look, hope it wasn't fraud.

Banker's games

Ever wonder what takes the bank teller so long to process your transaction or what they talk about when you aren't in there? I happen to know a guy who works in not a bank, but a credit union, sounds fancy I know but this is hot off the press. A week ago the subordinate gave his boss a mutilated $5 that he received. Now no one likes mutilated money so even though they accept it, they don't like it because they have to keep it forever until they have 100 of the same bill to submit which never happens. Well the boss wanting to get rid of it gave it to a customer. He assured the man that it would spend fine and to just take it. Today that same guy came in to deposit that $5 again. The boss said, "Oh, if you want to do that you actually have to stand in line over there." Pretty soon he came to the subordinate's window and stated that he only wanted to exchange the $5 for one in good condition. With a glance into the boss's office the little guy took the bill, knowing this must stop. The day ended and the teller had a bad $10 bill and one bad $5 bill. What's a teller to do? Since he has an account with the credit union and the manager is the only one who can see employee accounts, he took his ugly money to the boss and said he wanted to make a deposit. The boss took it and realized it was the ugly money. In the end, the teller beat the boss, for those of you keeping score, teller---1, boss----0. Games we play at work...no wonder I love my job!

I'm an investor

SO it appears to be a downward trend in the graph below.
Now let me explain to you that this is what we call Washington Mutual stock prices. You can see that it has fallen much faster than most things out there. A week ago it dropped to $3.30 and Tyler, my boss and I all talked about it. My boss got in and Tyler told me to hold off. It sounded like a good plan. Today was the day that I finally bought. I figure WAMU is a good company, after all they did hire me back in my prime. I see it as a year ago it was $45 a share and now it's below $5, I should get into it and make some money. Well I got in for my first ever investment at $4 a share. Now it's all just a game, but I want it to be posted here so you'll know where my small fortune comes from in a few years. Thanks to Tyler for guiding me and even though he hasn't bought, he will watch it and see it rise and remember that he should have gotten into the stock when it was dirt cheap. That's all, I'm done, take it or leave it.